What is Different in My Life?

For most of my life I was neurotic, anxious, depressed, fearful. Through the grace of God I am slowly being healed of the wounds of life. We all have them. I want to tell you the story of today and share "What is different in my life?"

I wanted to drive to Ann Arbor MI today so I can attend a "family reunion" of sorts because all my nieces and nephews (brother Joe's children and grandchildren) are gathering at one of their homes to celebrate the 4th and set off fireworks.

I had driven my 2004 Prius with 100K plus miles about 20 miles N on 75 out of Lexington KY when the dashboard lit up like a Christmas tree! They have a huge red triangle with an exclamation point; gets one's attention. I immediately called Toyota service "Drive it to the dealership" so I did.

I did not freak out, I did not cry. I did not feel powerless. I did not not know what to do. My heart and spirit remained calm and at peace. This was a problem to be solved. Because the fireworks are on Sat. I decided I would bare the cost of renting a car for a week as I would not be able to wait until the problem was diagnosed or leave on Sat for Ann Arbor. I asked service to have a car for me.

I arrived, Enterprise was waiting to take me to get my loaner, I got it. BTW prepay the gas I got it for $2.36 today a whole lot cheaper than the $2.69 at the pump. I was very glad I got a car.

I went back to the Prius, unloaded my food and suitcase and headed N again, now after noon. I hit the wall at Cincinnati and all through Ohio. They have spent all their stimulus money on road rebuilding. It took me 11 hours to get to Ann Arbor MI the same time it took me to fly to Roma. I recommend not driving through Ohio anytime soon. Mapquest said it would take me a little over 5 hours, little do they know!

What amazed me about the day is that I felt a deep peace inside ALL through the creeping at 5 miles an hour, mile after mile. What was going on on the outside did not have an impact on my feelings for the FIRST time in my life. I give this experience over to grace and healing and never giving up on the search for healing. Since November 2009 I have been attending Al Anon very regularly and I have started PTSD therapy to heal from the trauma of my childhood. I think that it is successful and I will continue to heal for the rest of my life. I am not afraid to go to the darkest places in my soul and ask the God who is there to heal me.

I know God is there
Psalm 139:
Where could I run from your presence?...
If I make my bed in Death, you are already there;
If I go up to the heavens, you are there...
I could fly away with wings made of dawn,
or make my home on the far side of he sea,
but even there your hand will guide me.

If I say, "The darkness will hide me,
(the darkness of being unconscious)
and night will be my only light,"
even darkness won't be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day--
darkness and light are the same to you.

Continue to seek healing in all circumstances, never give up.
For the God of Evolution wants you and us collectively to heal and become ever more human. Jesus is our Way, he walks beside us. Reach out and seek healing.

Have a great July 4th weekend filled with making happy memories.